Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
