I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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