i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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