Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
