Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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