I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
