This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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