Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
