We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
