the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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