got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
