a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I think i got beer on your cat.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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