There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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