where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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