On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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