but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
