I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
