I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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