You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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