Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
