I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
