by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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