Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
