I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
