Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
