All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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