He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
All the doctor said was why
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
