Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
you win again, gameday.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
