there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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