who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
