It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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