actually, I'm a sock model
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Randomize
