If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
