Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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