So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
My life is pants optional.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
