you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
