when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
