singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
