Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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