Just mADE A PArabola og urine
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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