I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
