Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
ttyl tear gas
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
