I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
