my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
