So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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