moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
