This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
