grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I am full of burrito and curiosity
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
