Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Bring me that man meat
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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