Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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