idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
