"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
