tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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