I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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