can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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